One of the secrets of building long-term client loyalty is to behave with clients as if you're not getting paid. You need to exude enjoyment and enthusiasm for what you do and treat clients like a friend. No matter how skinny your bank account, you have to convey a mindset of independent wealth.

What I'm about to describe is one of the most powerful things you can do to attract and keep clients. If you are successful at it, you'll create a palpable aura around you that is enormously attractive not only to clients but to anyone with whom you have a business relationship. It doesn't cost anything, and the implementation is entirely up to you. Sound easy? It is--sort of.

The opposite of the mindset of independent wealth--let's call it the mindset of greed or scarcity--is repugnant to clients, and smart ones can sense it a mile away. A friend once described to me the training program he went through many years ago at a large brokerage firm. When cold-calling prospective clients, he was taught to envision, just before picking up the phone, the yacht or expensive sports car he would buy with his year-end bonus. When I told this story to a well-known financial advisor I know, he exclaimed to me, "My God, this fellow was being taught to visualize greed!" Well, yes, something like that.

Developing your mindset of independent wealth is an excellent way to cultivate selfless independence, which is one of the foundational qualities of great client advisors that I mentioned in my December newsletter. Arguably, the Enron debacle has its roots in a systematic lack of independence on the part of virtually everyone involved: the professional service firms hired by Enron, its senior management, and its board of directors.

So how do you cultivate the mindset of independent wealth? The truth is, it's not easy, at least not in the context of our western culture. We live in a society that on the surface worships wealth and the trappings of wealth--a trophy home, new cars, and exotic vacations. Furthermore, we want to win at any cost and we have instilled this in our children (in a recent study of 4,000 teenagers, 75% of them admitted to cheating on a test at school). All this runs counter to building the inner confidence and strength that underpins a sense of personal rather than monetary wealth. That said, here are some suggestions to explore:

• Make sure you are doing work that you love. In his book, "Making a Life, Making a Living," Mark Albion talks about having finally found work that is so rewarding and enjoyable that he cannot distinguish between "work" and "play" anymore. When someone asked him recently how many hours a week he works, he replied, "How many hours a week do I breathe? I don't count my work hours because I can't really distinguish between those hours and any others."

• Think often about the people who are most important to you, and reflect on how wealthy you are in terms of the relationships in your life. I remember being thrown into an absolute panic, years ago, by an incident with a major client that occurred while I was living in Europe. My mother happened to be visiting at the time, and she quietly watched me reach the boiling point and almost collapse with anxiety. One evening we went for a walk, and she said to me, "You know, in ten years you won't even be able to recall why you were so upset this week. But your family and close friends will still be with you. They are what counts." And you know what? I can in fact barely remember that incident today, and I deeply regret the turmoil I imposed on my family during those days.

• Rationally evaluate the importance and impact of losing a client or missing a sale. I ask myself two questions when confronting news that could potentially shake my sense of independence and my confidence: First, does this event pose a physical or emotional threat to my family or me? Second, will it have a serious, long-term effect on my career and professional life? If I cannot answer "Yes" to one or both of these questions, then it's simply not worth getting agitated. How often does a setback with a client pass this test? You guessed it, it's never happened to me even once.

• Spend more time developing your physical and mental self in ways that are unrelated to your client work. I play guitar, for example, and find that my late-night sessions help create a very healthy distance between my inner self and the ups and downs of my professional practice. Physical activity, be it just a walk in the foothills around my house or a day skiing with my wife, also "unhooks" me from work and contributes to a sense of centeredness that gives me an independence vis-a-vis my clients.

There are many other activities, including meditation and religious observance, which can help you to cultivate this mindset of independent wealth; these are just a few suggestions.

For those of you feel this approach is a bit "soft," just recall the words of a well-known CEO I interviewed for Clients for Life: "I wish all of my professional advisors were independently wealthy. They would then be objective, independent, and less likely to be pushing their own agenda." Although few clients could articulate this concept as well as this particular executive, they all recognize it when they see it. It boils down to having complete intellectual honestly with your clients, which means always telling them the way you see it, and putting their interests and well-being ahead of your personal financial gain. If you do this, you will in fact experience a true abundance of monetary wealth over the long term.

Andrew Sobel is a leading authority on client relationships and the skills and strategies required to earn enduring client loyalty. He is a consultant and educator to major services firms worldwide. Andrew is the author of the business bestsellers Making Rain: The Secrets of Building Lifelong Client Loyalty (John Wiley & Sons), and Clients for Life: How Great Professionals Develop Breakthrough Relationships  (Simon & Schuster/Fireside). He can be reached at This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it

Comments (1) >>

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written by Jennifer Goodwin, February 04, 2007

This is an excellent perspective to adopt for all, regardless of your organizational relationship with your business partners. After spending a few years at home in the middle of my career to be with my kids and learning that I could survive on practically nothing, I came back to my organization with a sense of personal confidence that helps me to remain intellectually honest with my business partners, including my boss, my peers, and my internal customers. As I am not in a hierarchical position of power in the workplace, I effect change through relationships and doing my job well. I don't let the fact that someone has a VP title prevent me (with my manager title) from speaking up about what I think needs to be done to make positive changes for the greater good. I have choosen positions that allow me to enjoy what I do as well as enjoy the people I work with. The result is a sense of personal and emotional freedom on top of that personal confidence in my skills. Now people come to me for advice on what will work best for the group/company and people want me on their team. Your advice is excellent for all!

When my grandfather passed away last fall, he was exalted for his wealth of family, friends, and an enjoyable life. I'm not sure the buzz of happiness we all felt at all his largly attended funeral sevices would have been there if he was simply monetarily wealthy. As the saying goes, "You can't take it with you"; so think about what you are really passing on to those you leave behind.

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