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A Shift in How You See Your Boss
If you expect any of the following, you are in luck:
- To be given clear direction
- To have a more comprehensive benefits package
- More executive vision
- To be fully informed
- To be accepted for who you are
- To have clearly articulated ethical guidelines
- To be told what is needed from you
- To have more crisply defined roles and responsibilities
- To have effective conflict resolution
- To have your opinions appreciated
- To have your feedback consistently considered
You are lucky because by making one simple
shift in how you see yourself in relationship to your bosses, you can
forego all of the above, and without the disappointment you may
currently be experiencing. It is disappointing, after all, to seek the
unattainable, to long for what cannot be and to have an insatiable
appetite for support from authority figures. You are never going to
have these expectations met, and they are not the things a mature
businessperson wants, anyway. As a consequence, your career has
tremendous upside-newly available-right this moment.
The "thought procedure" required to make this
shift is straightforward. Imagine a situation in which you have
received outstanding customer service or expected outstanding customer
service. Now, simply pretend that you are that service provider and
your boss is the customer. And then act in character.
At first you might have to continually remind
yourself, "How can I give the boss great customer service?" You also
will have to use empathy. Ask yourself, "If I was expecting great
customer service from me, what would I want to see?"
You might also find yourself having to give up
some expectations. You might feel that you need a few or even many
things from your boss that are not directly required for your results,
things such as praise, attention, or direction. This is where your
opportunity is. How can you take care of your praise, attention, and
direction needs without your boss having to do anything? The irony of
this shift in your self-care will be that you will begin to get more
and more of what you have craved, because your neediness is lessening
and your results are increasing.
A Boss-Is-Customer Q and A
Q: What do I do if my boss is going to do something stupid or wants me to do something stupid?
A: If your boss is going to do something stupid, you can:
- Make sure you think before reacting. Ideally, ask for help from someone you trust to go over your thinking with you.
- Suggest
to your boss that you think you have a better idea that will get him
better results. Remind him that your number one priority is to get him
great results and that's why you are suggesting an alternative idea you
believe might be better.
- Point out how your idea delivers better long term results even though in the short term it may be uncomfortable.
If he still refuses to work with your better
idea and you are not ethically or morally in a bind (although this is
always a fine line when it comes to doing stupid things), you can agree
to do it your boss's way because you are, after all, there to serve.
Before you proceed, we recommend clearly explaining that you don't
think that you will be getting the greatest results you can get for him
if you go along with his idea, but that your dedication to customer
service trumps this concern (and, of course, he could be right). In the
event that it turns out you were correct, you will have gained
credibility for your loyalty and your prescience.
If the stupid thing is unethical or immoral and
your boss won't resolve this with you (and, alas, most stupid things
ultimately are both), you must cease working for this person.
Q: What if I take great care of my boss and make him look great and he doesn't give me credit or pay me fairly?
A: You always have the opportunity and
responsibility to acquire better behaving and better paying customers.
It turns out that the customers who want to get great results will also
be the customers who pay most appropriately. Make sure that you leave
less ambitious customers with the utmost grace and in a face-saving
manner. Although you may have found a more results-oriented customer,
you will benefit most by treating all as valued customers.
Q: Are you telling me it's smart to kiss up to my boss all the time?
A: There is a big difference between kissing up
and giving great customer service. If you think of the best customer
service you've had, it probably doesn't include a lot of groveling. In
fact, most people experience kissing up with suspicion and distaste.
Some Boss-Is-Customer Questions to Ask Yourself
What praise or attention do you find yourself
periodically wishing you would receive from your boss(es)? What
alternatives do you have for getting praise or attention? How could you
get those things without expecting them from your boss(es)?
What actions are you currently waiting for your boss to take? How could you proceed without your boss having to do anything?
What is the best customer service you have ever
received? What about it made it so great? How could you incorporate
those qualities into your behavior towards your boss?
What conflicts are going unresolved between you
and your boss? What is the one most important thing you could do to
resolve that conflict? Is there a way you could resolve it without your
boss having to do anything?
For more on this and related topics, visit www.mccarthyshow.com
Jim and Michele McCarthy Jim and Michele left successful leadership positions at Microsoft to form an innovative teamwork laboratory.
For the last 10 years they have rigorously studied and codified the
*best practices* for teams to get into and maintain a state of shared
vision. These best practices are called The Core Protocols. Jim is well-known for his humorous, inspirational and educational public speaking and the couple are co-authors of the books Dynamics of Software Development and Software for your Head. They also co-host a podcast focused on business issues called The McCarthy Show which some claim is addictive. They can also be heard on Microsoft's MSDN web site.
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